Marriage doesn't work by proxy because the number one building block of marriage when God originated the union was/is COMPANIONSHIP. So, your availability is pertinent to its success.
"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him help meet for him. " Genesis 2:18 KJV
It is the companionship that will deal with individuals "aloneness" not "loneliness" as some people put it today.
Without companionship, marriage is damage.
Without companionship, marriage is a mirage.
Without companionship, marriage becomes a contract instead of a covenant relationship.
Without companionship, marriage becomes a mystery the couple will never unravel till they destroy the union by their characters.
Without companionship, marriage breeds a seed of disconnect where complaints and dissatisfaction set in moving them towards the common phrase "irreconcilable differences" and before they know it "divorce" if something is not done.
Companionship is meant to be two people keeping one another's company because 2 is a company while 3 is a crowd. Companionship doesn't give room to intruders in the form of family members, friends, and not even your children(all these people are third party in your marriage) because marriage is the union of two with the exception of others. You can only talk to a counsellor if need be in your marriage not taking things to your family which might lead to what you don't bargain for. A professional counsellor is not biased, so you can speak to someone who will not be biased.
Companionship makes your spouse your best friend.
True companionship needs the following though not limited to them;
1. Staying in the same country
2. Staying in the same city
3. Living in the same house
4. Sleeping in the same room (nothing like this is daddy's room or mummy's room even if you're a Pastor that needs to pray every night and you don't want to disturb your spouse when it is time for your vigil, go to other room if need be)
5. Sleeping on the same bed and using the same duvet(covering cloth)
6. Talking together no matter how foolish it sounds, just say it. Your marriage will always ride on the wings of communication.
7. Laughing together
8. Crying together if the situation warrants that
9. Eating together inside the same plate as much as your schedule permits
10. Planning together
11. Spending together. Not having 'my' money but 'our' money which is the family's finance
12. Doing chores together without anything like this is a gender-specific work.
13. Raising the children together with one voice
14. Worshipping God together with your children in the same church. Praying and studying the Bible together
15. Having a good and quality God-glorifying sex😂😍 together.
See, if you haven't gotten the real companionship right, having sex as couples will just be dry and drab. It will look to you like it is just for procreation(childbearing). You will miss out of the real intimacy it breeds.
A lot of marriages are hitting the rock today because this singular ingredient and in fact the first link to a blissful marriage is missing.
Embrace the real companionship in your marriage.
Bisi Lanre-Ojolo
